Class Act

Surprise, surprise. The royals are in the headlines again, and as usual for the wrong reasons.

This time it's Sarah Ferguson, a/k/a the Duchess of York, caught on tape accepting cash from a tabloid reporter posing as a foreign businessman.  She thought that the $40,000 she greedily stuffed into her purse was an advance on a $500,000 grease payment for introducing the "businessman" to her former husband Prince Andrew, Britain's roving trade ambassador  - and better known to readers of the tablloid press as "AirMiles Andy".  "Take care of me", she assured the News of the World journalist, "and Andrew will take care of you." 

After the news of the scandal broke, Ferguson promptly issued a statement stressing how "devastated" she was.  And I'll bet she was devastated.  The avaricious Duchess had just seen $500,000 slip through her fingers. The royal spin machine immediately cranked into action assuring the world that Prince Andrew had absolutely no knowledge of his former wife's attempt to sell access, while friends of the Duchess rushed to her defense, complaining she had been entrapped by a sleazy journalist.  Some even justified her attempt to cash in on her royal connections, reminding us that, to quote the vulgar Duchess herself, she "doesn't have a pot to piss in". How else can she be expected to make ends meet?

This certainly isn't the first time the classless Ferguson has provided fodder for the British tabloids.  After all, who can forget the occasion when - while still married to Prince Andrew - she was photographed sunbathing topless while an individual she later identified as her "financial adviser" sucked on her toes?  Maybe her financial advisers should have paid more attention to her financial, as opposed to her physical, assets over the years, because  the free-spending Duchess has apparently now fallen on hard  times.    She  has a liking for the finer things in life that far exceeds her ability to pay for them.  She reportedly resents the failure of the royal family to support the lavish lifestyle she aspires to and seems to believe her royal connections are just another thing she is entitled to peddle to the highest bidder.  It's hard to say what aspect of this tawdry episode is the most appalling.  Is it her bewildering sense of entitlement, her naked greed, her brazen lack of morality, or just her plain, utter and unimaginable stupidity?  But one thing is clear. It is time to call a halt to this once and for all.

First, there needs to be a full public investigation.  If laws were broken, the Dodgy Duchess should face prosecution.  The British people, whose taxes support the royal family, also have a right to know whether the money-grubbing Ferguson has tried to peddle access for cash in the past.  If so, from whom did she take cash and how much did she pocket?  Did she pay taxes on it?  And, most important, what  favors did the money buy?

It's also time for AirMiles Andy to be relieved of his so-called ambassadorial role.  If George Osborne is serious about cutting wasteful public spending, Andrew's lavish expense account should be at the top of his hit list.  The Prince may indeed have known nothing about the conniving of his former wife, with whom he reportedly maintains a close friendship, but the cash for access scandal has at best compromised whatever effectiveness he may have had (I personally think he had none) and at worst reduced him to an international laughing stock.  His removal would also send a long-overdue signal that Britain has reluctantly dragged itself into the second half of the 20th century and recognized that diplomatic skills and knowledge of international business are acquired through study and experience - they don't pass by heredity.